Rhinorrhea?!

Rain- Heaven opens its door and showers blessings on us wrapped in little droplets of water. The best buy this season, besides an umbrella, is a medical dictionary. Why? Let me sketch a picture for you. Let’s say you feel a little unwell and decide to go to a doctor; with so many new viruses around you don’t want to take a chance. Being a question of your health, you decide you deserve the best and do a research of all the doctors in the city and pick one. The long list of qualifications behind his name and the fact that he has worked in many hospitals abroad and even taught in premier institutes, impresses you. As you enter the clinic, you are convinced you made the right choice. The place looks professional, the waiting area is tastefully done with chic furniture and the attendant is unusually courteous. You are called in and as you enter the doctor’s room, you are greeted by a distinguished looking gentleman. He leads you to the examination bed. As he examines you and scribbles on his form, you see an array of expressions cross his face, and none of them are reassuring. He frowns, then arches an eyebrow, then shakes his head, tch-tch’s and turns to have a hushed discussion with his assistant. Curiosity getting the better of you, you lean out to get a sneak peak at his form. Squinting at his illegible writing, all you manage to read is Rhinorrhea before he turns his attention back to you. As he examines you further, teary eyed you think about your life, just the day before you were happily walking down the road, as soft rain drops kissed your face, enjoying your favourite ice cream and today? Today you have Rhinorrhea!!  Whatever that is!  Some virus passed on to humans by rhinoceros, perhaps?? You sniff back a tear as you try to figure out what it could be and the doctor signals you to follow him to his desk. Crestfallen, you obey him.


You ask him what the problem is and soon learn that you never ever question a doctor and just follow what he says. Clearly not a person who entertains questions, he looks up irritated, takes a deep breath and tells you, “You have an upper respiratory tract viral infection, inflammation of the pharynx, a case of rhinorrhea and inflammation of the paranasal sinuses!” All this sounds Greek and Latin to you and as you blink trying to digest what he was saying, you think of good old DD News, and how they used to have a translator and start wishing, there was someone there to translate so that you at least know, what is going to kill you. You glance at your reflection on the glass door; you see your swollen face and again sniff back a tear. Panic grips you and your heart suddenly starts beating fast and your hands and legs go cold. You tell the doctor the same and that’s the cue he needs. He quickly writes out a note for a list of tests (after all, someone has to pay for all the apparatus he has invested crores of money in and what better way than make every patient use it?) and thrusts it in your hand and sends you off, with his artificially overfriendly assistant.

As you go from one test to another, your whole life flashes in front of you. Your daily horoscope had mentioned that you need to pay close attention to your health or face dire consequences. But the week before, it had also said you would win the lottery but apparently, lady destiny had conveniently overlooked that bit of information!! You are finally presented with the bill, which includes the doctor’s fee, fee for the tests and gratitude tip for the staff (you did have a feeling that the over sweetness of the attendant and assistant didn’t come for free). Seeing the bill, your heart lurches and races like a drunken F1 racer and you feel dizzy again, but this time you decide to keep this bit of information to yourself, lest they send you off to warm another apparatus, which has been lying unused in some corner of the clinic. You start wishing you had in fact won the lottery. After putting your credit card through a very heavy swipe, you drag yourself to the chemist. You show him the form and the prescription. “So you have cold, sore throat, runny nose and sinusitis, eh?” he asks smiling, “Lots of that going around these days. Don’t worry, this doctor prescribes the best medicine, they are a little expensive but you’ll soon be as fit as a fiddle” As your eyes widen in disbelief, you realize you have spent your entire month’s salary on a runny nose, sorry, Rhinorrhea!!

Mars vs Venus

God created man and felt there was something missing, so he went ahead and created a woman. Men and Women. Yin and Yang. Perfect equilibrium. At least that’s what god thought but turns out, it’s not one of his best decisions. What was meant to create balance has led to a never ending war - gender war.


Women often crib about men and men have their own complaints about women.

What men have never understood about women:

1. Why women ask life altering questions only during the last ten minutes of a nail biting match.
The term life altering is used, ‘cause, try not answering her quickly enough and you will find not just your life, but in all probability, a part of your face also altered.

2. Why women say no when they mean yes and yes when they mean no.
Warning: this logic is applicable only by women. Never make the mistake of trying this at home. When asked, ‘is she prettier than me?’ your reply better not be a ‘yes’ (meaning no) unless you want to wake up in a hospital bed, with your hands and legs in a sling.

3. Why women take so long to dress up.
A woman needs a clear two hours heads up, to even decide what to wear. The best part is, a woman can use the entire make up in the world and dress up all she wants, but to a man, she won’t look any different, than how she did the previous day.

4. Why women can never decide.
Ask her a simple question like whether she would like to eat out, she will say, last time she checked she had put on some weight but she can always exercise and burn the calories so it shouldn’t be a problem but then again it might rain so going out might not be a bright idea but she loves the rain but what is more important is your health but she is too bored to cook but the restaurant might not be clean but if that’s what you want…(and it goes on)

5. How women never tire talking.
Language was, very obviously, created by women. Since they ran out of words in one, they decided to develop another and so now, we have a hundred and eight different languages. If all the energy women use in talking, in one day is harnessed, it can supply electricity to the entire world for a day.


What women have never understood about men:

1. Why men always find only their mother’s cooking to be the best.
You can slog all you want over a hot stove, you might even put Sanjeev Kapoor to shame, but when you diligently trek through his stomach to his heart, you will find that a flag has already been very firmly lodged there, waving proudly.

2. Why men are so blatant.
Discreetness is a virtue and when it was being distributed, man was busy watching a cricket match. Never tell him what the nickname of your boss is, because the next time they meet, he just might figure out why you call him that, and laughingly pat you on your shoulder and congratulate you on your wit, in front of your (not so amused) boss.

3. Why men never realize when a woman is angry.
You can shoot arrows with your eyes, but all the glares in the world, will still only prompt a silly clueless smile on his face, along with a request for a hot cuppa coffee (further fueling your anger.)

4. Why men can’t remember dates.
A man will promptly tell you the exact score a cricketer (whose name you have never even heard of) scored twenty years ago, in some city level match, but on your birthday/anniversary, far from wishing you, he will declare his plan for a boy’s night out with his friends, with the same smile (ref., point 3)

5. Why men are poor listeners.
Most of the morning conversations will be with the newspaper and occasionally a hand, which will jump out from behind it and quickly grab the cup of coffee on the table, before retiring quietly. If the paper is not interesting enough, then the head buried in it, might make a quick appearance now and then, to give a nod.

It is said that opposites attract, they sure do...they attract trouble (and how!).
Men will never understand women and women will never let men understand them.
And so the battle continues…