Rain- Heaven opens its door and showers blessings on us wrapped in little droplets of water. The best buy this season, besides an umbrella, is a medical dictionary. Why? Let me sketch a picture for you. Let’s say you feel a little unwell and decide to go to a doctor; with so many new viruses around you don’t want to take a chance. Being a question of your health, you decide you deserve the best and do a research of all the doctors in the city and pick one. The long list of qualifications behind his name and the fact that he has worked in many hospitals abroad and even taught in premier institutes, impresses you. As you enter the clinic, you are convinced you made the right choice. The place looks professional, the waiting area is tastefully done with chic furniture and the attendant is unusually courteous. You are called in and as you enter the doctor’s room, you are greeted by a distinguished looking gentleman. He leads you to the examination bed. As he examines you and scribbles on his form, you see an array of expressions cross his face, and none of them are reassuring. He frowns, then arches an eyebrow, then shakes his head, tch-tch’s and turns to have a hushed discussion with his assistant. Curiosity getting the better of you, you lean out to get a sneak peak at his form. Squinting at his illegible writing, all you manage to read is Rhinorrhea before he turns his attention back to you. As he examines you further, teary eyed you think about your life, just the day before you were happily walking down the road, as soft rain drops kissed your face, enjoying your favourite ice cream and today? Today you have Rhinorrhea!! Whatever that is! Some virus passed on to humans by rhinoceros, perhaps?? You sniff back a tear as you try to figure out what it could be and the doctor signals you to follow him to his desk. Crestfallen, you obey him.
You ask him what the problem is and soon learn that you never ever question a doctor and just follow what he says. Clearly not a person who entertains questions, he looks up irritated, takes a deep breath and tells you, “You have an upper respiratory tract viral infection, inflammation of the pharynx, a case of rhinorrhea and inflammation of the paranasal sinuses!” All this sounds Greek and Latin to you and as you blink trying to digest what he was saying, you think of good old DD News, and how they used to have a translator and start wishing, there was someone there to translate so that you at least know, what is going to kill you. You glance at your reflection on the glass door; you see your swollen face and again sniff back a tear. Panic grips you and your heart suddenly starts beating fast and your hands and legs go cold. You tell the doctor the same and that’s the cue he needs. He quickly writes out a note for a list of tests (after all, someone has to pay for all the apparatus he has invested crores of money in and what better way than make every patient use it?) and thrusts it in your hand and sends you off, with his artificially overfriendly assistant.
As you go from one test to another, your whole life flashes in front of you. Your daily horoscope had mentioned that you need to pay close attention to your health or face dire consequences. But the week before, it had also said you would win the lottery but apparently, lady destiny had conveniently overlooked that bit of information!! You are finally presented with the bill, which includes the doctor’s fee, fee for the tests and gratitude tip for the staff (you did have a feeling that the over sweetness of the attendant and assistant didn’t come for free). Seeing the bill, your heart lurches and races like a drunken F1 racer and you feel dizzy again, but this time you decide to keep this bit of information to yourself, lest they send you off to warm another apparatus, which has been lying unused in some corner of the clinic. You start wishing you had in fact won the lottery. After putting your credit card through a very heavy swipe, you drag yourself to the chemist. You show him the form and the prescription. “So you have cold, sore throat, runny nose and sinusitis, eh?” he asks smiling, “Lots of that going around these days. Don’t worry, this doctor prescribes the best medicine, they are a little expensive but you’ll soon be as fit as a fiddle” As your eyes widen in disbelief, you realize you have spent your entire month’s salary on a runny nose, sorry, Rhinorrhea!!
You ask him what the problem is and soon learn that you never ever question a doctor and just follow what he says. Clearly not a person who entertains questions, he looks up irritated, takes a deep breath and tells you, “You have an upper respiratory tract viral infection, inflammation of the pharynx, a case of rhinorrhea and inflammation of the paranasal sinuses!” All this sounds Greek and Latin to you and as you blink trying to digest what he was saying, you think of good old DD News, and how they used to have a translator and start wishing, there was someone there to translate so that you at least know, what is going to kill you. You glance at your reflection on the glass door; you see your swollen face and again sniff back a tear. Panic grips you and your heart suddenly starts beating fast and your hands and legs go cold. You tell the doctor the same and that’s the cue he needs. He quickly writes out a note for a list of tests (after all, someone has to pay for all the apparatus he has invested crores of money in and what better way than make every patient use it?) and thrusts it in your hand and sends you off, with his artificially overfriendly assistant.
As you go from one test to another, your whole life flashes in front of you. Your daily horoscope had mentioned that you need to pay close attention to your health or face dire consequences. But the week before, it had also said you would win the lottery but apparently, lady destiny had conveniently overlooked that bit of information!! You are finally presented with the bill, which includes the doctor’s fee, fee for the tests and gratitude tip for the staff (you did have a feeling that the over sweetness of the attendant and assistant didn’t come for free). Seeing the bill, your heart lurches and races like a drunken F1 racer and you feel dizzy again, but this time you decide to keep this bit of information to yourself, lest they send you off to warm another apparatus, which has been lying unused in some corner of the clinic. You start wishing you had in fact won the lottery. After putting your credit card through a very heavy swipe, you drag yourself to the chemist. You show him the form and the prescription. “So you have cold, sore throat, runny nose and sinusitis, eh?” he asks smiling, “Lots of that going around these days. Don’t worry, this doctor prescribes the best medicine, they are a little expensive but you’ll soon be as fit as a fiddle” As your eyes widen in disbelief, you realize you have spent your entire month’s salary on a runny nose, sorry, Rhinorrhea!!
No comments:
Post a Comment