God created man and felt there was something missing, so he went ahead and created a woman. Men and Women. Yin and Yang. Perfect equilibrium. At least that’s what god thought but turns out, it’s not one of his best decisions. What was meant to create balance has led to a never ending war - gender war.
Women often crib about men and men have their own complaints about women.
What men have never understood about women:
1. Why women ask life altering questions only during the last ten minutes of a nail biting match.
The term life altering is used, ‘cause, try not answering her quickly enough and you will find not just your life, but in all probability, a part of your face also altered.
2. Why women say no when they mean yes and yes when they mean no.
Warning: this logic is applicable only by women. Never make the mistake of trying this at home. When asked, ‘is she prettier than me?’ your reply better not be a ‘yes’ (meaning no) unless you want to wake up in a hospital bed, with your hands and legs in a sling.
3. Why women take so long to dress up.
A woman needs a clear two hours heads up, to even decide what to wear. The best part is, a woman can use the entire make up in the world and dress up all she wants, but to a man, she won’t look any different, than how she did the previous day.
4. Why women can never decide.
Ask her a simple question like whether she would like to eat out, she will say, last time she checked she had put on some weight but she can always exercise and burn the calories so it shouldn’t be a problem but then again it might rain so going out might not be a bright idea but she loves the rain but what is more important is your health but she is too bored to cook but the restaurant might not be clean but if that’s what you want…(and it goes on)
5. How women never tire talking.
Language was, very obviously, created by women. Since they ran out of words in one, they decided to develop another and so now, we have a hundred and eight different languages. If all the energy women use in talking, in one day is harnessed, it can supply electricity to the entire world for a day.
What women have never understood about men:
1. Why men always find only their mother’s cooking to be the best.
You can slog all you want over a hot stove, you might even put Sanjeev Kapoor to shame, but when you diligently trek through his stomach to his heart, you will find that a flag has already been very firmly lodged there, waving proudly.
2. Why men are so blatant.
Discreetness is a virtue and when it was being distributed, man was busy watching a cricket match. Never tell him what the nickname of your boss is, because the next time they meet, he just might figure out why you call him that, and laughingly pat you on your shoulder and congratulate you on your wit, in front of your (not so amused) boss.
3. Why men never realize when a woman is angry.
You can shoot arrows with your eyes, but all the glares in the world, will still only prompt a silly clueless smile on his face, along with a request for a hot cuppa coffee (further fueling your anger.)
4. Why men can’t remember dates.
A man will promptly tell you the exact score a cricketer (whose name you have never even heard of) scored twenty years ago, in some city level match, but on your birthday/anniversary, far from wishing you, he will declare his plan for a boy’s night out with his friends, with the same smile (ref., point 3)
5. Why men are poor listeners.
Most of the morning conversations will be with the newspaper and occasionally a hand, which will jump out from behind it and quickly grab the cup of coffee on the table, before retiring quietly. If the paper is not interesting enough, then the head buried in it, might make a quick appearance now and then, to give a nod.
It is said that opposites attract, they sure do...they attract trouble (and how!).
Men will never understand women and women will never let men understand them.
And so the battle continues…
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