Guess what is back in town… yup, it’s The Flu! “Love is in the air” crooned a guy on a stereo over my head, as I was taking a casual stroll in a mall recently. That’s not the only thing in the air dude, I thought with a smile. This is a really horrible season health wise, but if you look closely you might find it amusing some times.
Everywhere you go you see people with covered faces. Militants can easily go unnoticed. This season poses a major challenge for the fashion conscious; after all, no one can look gorgeous in a surgeons mask. This has led many to fashion a mask from fancy scarves, which they wrap around their face, as they trot around in their high heels. Now, how that serves the purpose they alone know but they definitely brighten up a place with the I-dream-of-genie-look.
Another group this season is hard on is people in love. It sure must be hard to whisper sweet nothings from behind a mask. For one, your beloved might not hear you and for another, you might propose a romantic ride in a carriage and she might just think you proposed marriage. Careful guys, better hold on to any proposals until ‘the air clears’! This drastic drop in PDA, has given the moral police a chance to lay down their arms and take a vacation. I’m sure no one is complaining!
We city folks have become extremely paranoid. Having lost faith in our immunity, we always step out of the house like we are entering a war zone. Anywhere you go, people eye you suspiciously. If you reach into your pocket for a tissue, you can almost hear gasps and while some people scatter for cover, the braver few maintain a five feet radius.
The mall was noisy as usual and as I turned a corner my nose tingled, in a second I realized with panic, what I was about to do. I tried not to breathe but it was too late. Defeated, I gave in and closed my eyes and did the worst thing you possibly could in such times- sneeze! I didn’t dare open my eyes for a few seconds, although I could almost feel the piercing looks I was getting. There was complete silence, no one moved (Or so I imagined) When I finally did open my eyes, I saw the lady standing in front of me, horror stricken, pulling her small kid closer to her and hurrying off, but not before giving me a look, which was a mixture of disdain and fear (Guess, a simple “bless you” is too much to expect these days!) The kid however, waved me a goodbye with a smile, or so I’m assuming cause I couldn’t see his expression behind his mask.
When you think of mothers, the first thought that crosses your mind is gentle, caring beings. Well, think again! New age moms are no less than warriors, especially if the kid is under ten years of age. They never step out without their ammunition of sanitizers, mosquito repellent creams, air disinfectant, decongestant and a million other sprays. (Noticed how the handbag sizes have become bigger over the last few years? It’s all thanks to this new, over obsessive brigade.) Not only that, they wont hesitate to hurt anyone either. They have trained their ears to catch sound waves with such precision, that it would put a dog to shame. The faintest sound of a sneeze or a cough far away is enough to spur them into action. Much like a rugby player, they head straight for the goal line (being the exit), clutching the kid, trampling anyone on the way( those huge handbags can cause some serious damage). Their little soldiers can’t dream of stepping out, without their layers of clothes, sweater, socks, scarf, gloves, mittens etc. A latest addition to this is the mask. As such, kids nowadays have no idea what fresh air means and you further stifle them with masks! The oxygen deprived kid, then has to endure listening to his mother’s complaints to others that he never puts on weight! Can you blame him, given the load he carries around and the little air he is allowed to breathe?? Give the kid a break.
Here I go again with my sneezing…well, hope it’s just a common cold !!
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